Battle To The Top (or Bottom?)

The Cool War is not over yet...

While the Americans had plans for manned missions to Mars, the Russian decided to slam them.






Why bother going up here, while the real mistery of life lies deep underwater?



The US needs a NASA for exploring the oceans
NASA sold it. We all bought it. Space exploration promised us alien life, lucrative planetary mining, and fabulous lunar colonies..... Well, news flash ladies and gents: Space is nearly empty. It's a sterile vacuum, filled mostly with the junk we put up there. We're throwing abountiful money into the void and ignoring a rich frontier much closer to home: Earth's oceans.... They're awash with unknown life, unclaimed territory, and immense natural resources. Perhaps the future of mankind isn't out in space but in our sea...

NASA sure has had its day. It's given us technological marvels from cell phones to SETI screensavers, which I have it on my computers, which is another story, which is i don't know who put it in.... (okay... okay, I DO believe in aliens! Satisfied?!)
Anyway, we're not mining the moon. We're not terraforming Mars. And we're certainly not finding any aliens. We've gotten completely off track: choosing to look for long-dead microbes 390 million miles away on Europa (It's Mars moon by the way), while neglecting undiscovered life just miles off any coast on the face of Earth....

About 94 percent of life on Earth resides in the oceans. We've seen only about 2 percent of this vast ecosystem - the uppermost layer (home to fish, whales, scuba divers, and most known marine life).... Beneath this warm lens lies a cold, dark, and life-rich realm of grand proportions. It's home to creatures as far removed from the sun and human biology as any alien imagined by science fiction....

We've seen some of these organisms clustering around midocean thermal vents - small undersea volcanoes that spew 400-degree water spiked with toxic chemicals. Thriving in total darkness, under 8,000 psi of ambient pressure, these organisms possess metabolic processes fundamentally different from ours.... The ones we know about rely on chemosynthesis (Did I sepell it right?), using sulphides and other chemicals from Earth's core to convert seawater into food. That, my friends, is about as alien as it gets....

The abundance of exotic biomass is a potential advantage for the biotech industry. Thermal-vent microbes may help in the study of human genetics and the prevention of disease.... But even if thermal vents aren't the future of biotech, there are plenty of other reasons to dive in. It's now suggested that many thermal vents are acting as alchemy labs, producing valuable concentrations of minerals like copper, iron, silver, and gold. There's every reason to believe that the ocean is a storehouse of minerals and even fuels. Mid-ocean thermal vents are just the beginning....

So the dream of recovering helium-3 fuel from the moon, 238,000 miles away, simply doesn't make sense. There are many moons' worth of valuable resources lying untouched under the seabed....










Even McDonalds has a clue for future exploration by making these toys for kids.

And what about those groovy lunar colonies? Nothing's happening there. We're taking a foolishly narrow view, pinning nearly all our hopes on space.... We're racing to colonize the cosmos, and two-thirds of Earth has yet to be discovered. The other planets in our solar system are devoid of water, oxygen, or food - but the ocean is brimming with these resources. Everything we need for truly "extraterrestrial" colonies is right here. Who knows what we'll find....

We can't begin to mine the sea's minerals or harvest DNA unless we go deep, with a fleet of sea exploration vessels..... We need a national agency with the stated goal of exploring, mapping, and studying the oceans. We need NUSA (National Underwater and Sea Administration)!

Japan is already there, having created the Japan Marine Science and Technology Center, which secures rights to deep-sea minerals, territories, and potential food sources. Its Deep Star program has even taken an early lead in DNA recovery: It's already working with the biotech industry to develop pharmaceuticals. Meanwhile, we're still logging the rain forests and wishing upon a star....

On High Score Education

After reading several of this lovely mom posts... I've just realize (again) the importance of playing games... and having them as an excuse for leaving class when i was in high school... hehehehe...

Games, not school, are teaching kids to think
I once read an article in Time magazine that the US spends almost $50 billion each year on education, so why aren't kids learning? i said...

Forty percent of students lack basic reading skills, and their academic performance is dismal compared with that of their foreign counterparts. In response to this crisis, schools are skilling-and-drilling their way "back to basics," moving toward mechanical instruction methods that rely on line-by-line scripting for teachers and endless multiple-choice testing.

That was in US, everybody, but consequently, kids aren't learning how to think anymore.... What i think, they're learning how to memorize. This might be an ideal recipe for the future kids, but it won't produce the kind of agile, analytical minds that will lead the high tech global age. Fortunately, we've got Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and Final Fantasy's series for that....

After school, kids are devouring new information, concepts, and skills every day, and, like it or not, they're doing it with controller in hand, plastered to the TV.... The fact is, when kids play videogames they can experience a much more powerful form of learning than when they're in the classroom. Learning isn't about memorizing isolated facts. It's about connecting and manipulating them. Doubt it? Just ask anyone who's beaten Legend of Zelda or solved Morrowind, or.... finding ways out on Neverwinter Nights, right mom?

The phenomenon of the videogame as an agent of mental training is largely unstudied; more often, games are denigrated for being violent... or they're just plain ignored. They shouldn't be.... Young gamers today aren't training to be gun-toting carjackers. They're learning how to learn. In Pikmin, children manage an army of plantlike aliens and strategize to solve problems. In Metal Gear Solid 2, my favorite, players move stealthily through virtual environments and carry out intricate missions.... Even in the notorious Vice City, players craft a persona, build a history, and shape a virtual world.... In strategy games like WarCraft III and Age of Mythology, they learn to micromanage an array of elements while simultaneously balancing short- and long-term goals. That sounds like something for their resumes....












scene from Metal Gear Solid 2. You played as Solid Snake, a former special anti-terrorist force specialized in stealth




The secret of a videogame as a teaching machine isn't its immersive 3-D graphics, but its underlying architecture. Each level dances around the outer limits of the player's abilities, seeking at every point to be hard enough to be just doable.... In cognitive science, this is referred to as the regime of competence principle, which results in a feeling of simultaneous pleasure and frustration - a sensation as familiar to gamers as sore thumbs.... Some may argued that the best instruction hovers at the boundary of a student's competence. Most schools, however, seek to avoid invoking feelings of both pleasure and frustration, blind to the fact that these emotions can be extremely useful when it comes to teaching kids....

Also, good videogames incorporate the principle of expertise. They tend to encourage players to achieve total mastery of one level, only to challenge and undo that mastery in the next, forcing kids to adapt and evolve.... This carefully choreographed dialectic has been identified by learning theorists as the best way to achieve expertise in any field.... This, i strongly emphazise "this," doesn't happen much in our routine-driven schools, where "good" students are often just good at, you know, "doing school."

How did videogames become such successful models of effective learning? Game coders aren't trained as cognitive scientists..... It's a simple case of free-market economics: If a title doesn't teach players how to play it well, it won't sell well. Game companies don't rake billions a year by dumbing down the material - aficionados condemn short and easy games like Half Life: Blue Shift and Devil May Cry 2.... Designers respond by making harder and more complex games that require mastery of sophisticated worlds and as many as 50 to 100 hours to complete.... Schools, meanwhile, respond with more tests, more drills, and more rigidity. This, my friend, are the cognitive-science dark ages....

We don't often think about videogames as relevant to education reform, but maybe we should. Game designers don't often think of themselves as learning theorists.... Maybe they should. Kids often say it doesn't feel like learning when they're gaming - they're much too focused on playing..... If kids were to say that about a science lesson, our country's education problems would be solved. Or at least, they could make a magazine out of it... like me... huahahaha....

Hehehehe... sudah lama nggak nulis tentang game. Kangeeeen! Kebetulan ini salah satu game favorit gua... So, just skip it if you're not interested...

Front Mission 4
Genre: Simulation RPG
Mesin: PlayStation2
Produksi: Square Enix
Rilis: 18 Desember 2003

Pertikaian Strategi Robot Tempur
Tahun 2003 kemarin merupakan tahun yang baik bagi genre RPG simulasi. Sejumlah titel papan atas telah hadir untuk menguji kelihaian para penggemar game bertempur di arena strategi. Dimulai dari hadirnya Makaisenki Disgaea yang fenomenal, disusul Final Fantasy Tactics Advance yang telah dinanti-nantikan, lalu seperti biasa beberapa seri Super Robot Taisen, dan ditutup oleh Front Mission 4 untuk PlayStation2.

Yang disebut terakhir adalah seri keenam dari Front Mission, salah satu serial kebanggaan Square Enix yang telah eksis sejak 1995. Lima seri terdahulunya adalah Front Mission 1st, Gun Hazard (khusus yang ini bergenre action RPG), Front Mission 2, Front Mission Alternative, dan Front Mission 3. Serial ini begitu khas karena settingnya —tidak seperti RPG Square Enix pada umumnya— adalah Bumi masa depan.

Sebagaimana pendahulunya, Front Mission 4 menceritakan konflik antara tiga pakta pertahanan regional utama dunia di akhir abad XXI, yaitu OCU (Oceana Community Union), USN (United States of New Continent), dan EC (Euro Community). Selain itu, ada juga negara independen, seperti Republik Zerftla dan Republik Rakyat DaHanZhong. Sekadar informasi, wilayah Indonesia diceritakan termasuk dalam OCU.

Perangkat militer yang menonjol pada masa itu adalah robot humanoid yang disebut wanzer. Tiap wanzer dikendalikan oleh seorang pilot. Dan pertempuran antar wanzer inilah yang menjadi fokus permainan Front Mission. Sedangkan karakter-karakter utamanya adalah para pilot dari berbagai pihak.

Setting waktu Front Mission 4 kira-kira setelah kisah Front Mission 1st. Cerita dimulai dari sebuah invasi kilat ke pangkalan militer di Jerman. Elsa, seorang perwira EC, dikirim untuk menyelidikinya. Setelah beberapa insiden pertempuran di Jerman dan Denmark, cerita kemudian beralih ke Venezuela. Di sana Darril, seorang opsir USN, bersama dua koleganya menemukan emas dari sebuah pesawat yang jatuh. Karena bermaksud memiliki harta tersebut, ia segera terlibat kesulitan dengan pemilik terdahulu.

Cerita kemudian mengalir apik. Pemain secara bergantian mengendalikan Elsa dan Darril. Keduanya dipertemukan setelah terungkap benang merah antara kisah mereka, yang berkaitan dengan sesuatu yang jauh lebih besar daripada yang mereka bayangkan. Beberapa karakter baru dari Front Mission 1st juga akan muncul.

Berbagai sistem permainan lama dan baru diterapkan dalam Front Mission 4. Ada Link System, di mana antar sekutu bisa saling membantu. Ada Skill, yaitu kemampuan khusus yang bisa dibongkar pasang. Pemain juga bisa meningkatkan daya tempur melalui Pilot Setup, menggunakan EP yang didapat di akhir tiap pertempuran. Juga ada tujuh macam Backpack untuk wanzer, yang bervariasi mulai dari fungsi reparasi hingga kemampuan EMP (electromagnetic pulse). Tersedia pula Mercenary System, yang berguna untuk merekrut pasukan pilot wanzer.

Oh ya, pemain yang berhasil menamatkan game ini bisa mengulang dari awal. Kali ini, uang dan EP yang tersisa dari permainan terdahulu bisa langsung digunakan di awal permainan yang baru.

Dibanding seri-seri sebelumnya yang maksimal berteknologi PSone, tentu saja kualitas grafis Front Mission 4 jauh lebih bagus. Game ini juga menampilkan desain karakter yang berbeda, yaitu karya Yusuke Naora yang terkenal lewat game Unlimited SaGa.

Front Mission 4 sangat layak dicoba oleh segenap fans genre RPG simulasi dan penggemar mecha. Dalam tahun ini, Square Enix akan merilis Front Mission Online—trailernya bisa disimak di dalam Front Mission 4—yang bisa dimainkan dengan PlayStation2 dan PC Windows.

Cara Baca yang Unik
Entah kenapa, Square Enix—dan Square yang dulu—menerapkan cara pembacaan judul serial Front Mission yang agak berbeda dengan tulisannya. Front Mission 1st dibaca "Front Mission the First". Sedangkan Front Mission 2 dibaca "Front Mission Second". Kemudian Front Mission 3 dibaca "Front Mission Third". Dan terakhir Front Mission 4 dibaca "Front Mission Fourth".

Judul tersebut ditulis dengan huruf latin, sedangkan cara bacanya ditulis dengan katakana. Sekali lagi, jangan tanya kenapa tidak disamakan saja.


Front Mission 1st
Genre: Simulation RPG
Mesin: PlayStation
Produksi: Square Enix
Rilis: 23 Oktober 2003

Hadirnya Kembali Seri Pertama
Sebelum merilis Front Mission 4, agaknya Square Enix merasa perlu menyegarkan ingatan fans serial ini. Maklum, Front Mission 3 terakhir muncul di PSone empat tahun silam. Dan tidak ada yang lebih cocok menjadi materi refreshing selain seri pertama yang dulu memulai sejarah, yaitu Front Mission 1st.

Bagi yang belum pernah memainkannya, Front Mission 1st hadir delapan tahun silam di mesin Super Famicom. Ketika itu game ini merupakan proyek ambisius Square yang ingin menciptakan nuansa baru dalam dunia RPG. Sebagai desainer karakter, ditugaskan Yoshitaka Amano, ilustrator nomor satu Square yang melegenda dengan serial Final Fantasy-nya.

Kisah seri pertama ini berkutat pada persaingan militer dua pakta adikuasa, yaitu OCU dan USN. Pilot-pilot seperti Roid Clive dan Karen Meure dari kubu OCU—sebagai protagonis—berhadapan dengan Driscoll dan rekan-rekannya dari kubu USN. Tentu, kedua belah pihak tidaklah hitam-putih.

Kualitas visual Front Mission 1st versi baru ini hanya sedikit lebih baik daripada versi Super Famicom-nya. Rupanya, Square Enix lebih suka meningkatkan unsur yang lain. Di awal permainan, pemain akan ditanya apakah pernah memainkan versi terdahulu. Jika iya, terbukalah kesempatan berperan sebagai kubu USN. Banyak fakta baru akan terungkap dengan menjalani skenario ini. Tapi bagi yang masih awam, disarankan menyelesaikan dulu skenario OCU.

Karena adanya skenario baru tersebut, dihadirkan sejumlah karakter baru pula, semua dari kubu USN. Ada pilot Maria Parades—sebagai penyegar kubu USN yang dalam versi Super Famicom dulu terlalu maskulin—dan Kevin. Ditambah karakter minor yaitu Sanders, Matthew, Halle Fainz, Wong, Gale, dan Gina. Bagi yang ingin menjajal wanzer untuk pertarungan satu-lawan-satu, tersedia fasilitas Colosseum.

Satu hal yang menarik adalah keputusan Square Enix membuat Front Mission 1st untuk PSone, mesin yang sudah lama dianggap kadaluarsa. Mungkin mereka punya dua pertimbangan. Pertama, toh game PSone bisa dimainkan via mesin PlayStation2. Dan kedua, ini lebih memudahkan bagi proyek Front Mission History.

Front Mission History sendiri adalah paket kompilasi yang dirilis awal Desember 2003 untuk PSone. Di dalamnya terdapat tiga CD game, yaitu Front Mission 1st, Front Mission 2, dan Front Mission 3. Dua game yang disebutkan belakangan dulu memang hadir untuk PSone. Ada sedikit perbaikan interface dalam seri kedua, sedangkan seri ketiga tidak mengalami perubahan apa-apa.

Paket seharga 10.000 yen ini cukup eksklusif, karena hanya diproduksi 20.000 unit. Di dalam kemasannya disertakan tiga action figure wanzer Zenith, Frost, dan Byzant yang sangat berharga sebagai memorabilia bagi penggemar serial ini. Sayang Square Enix tidak sekalian menyertakan game Front Mission Alternative dan Gun Hazard. Dan pertanyaan bagi kita di Indonesia: adakah importer yang tertarik mendatangkan game PSone ini?

In Watching "Reality" Show

One time, in a band camp… no, no, no, it's already been used in movie… think of other starting line… ah, what the heck…

One time, in a band camp, I managed to watch TV. It's not that awesome if I was not 20-or-so kilometers deep inside the forest. Thanks to the magic of technology brought by satelite and the small portable TV. I did suspect that Yudi would slipped it into his bagpack (the TV, that is, not the satelite) when we decided to go camping a week earlier.

So, there we were, two victims of deadly mosquitos, watching TV, while the rest of our group prefered to have a nice sleep. Somehow, they could actually have a nice sleep inside a jungle. Although they would find their skins dotted-red-chicken-pox-like the next morning.

Then, while changing the channels in hope to find a good show, we spotted Sergap in RCTI. Yudi insisted on watching it. "I've never seen this before," he said. I haven't either. And, the show turns out pretty funny for both of us, because:

1. Just like The Blair Witch Project or st.Francisville Experiment, the camera angles signs that the cameraman actually followed the action in live. Pretty convincing… but a much too odd:

a. Capturing the thief scene
There was this cops (and cameraman) running trough a hallway, inside a room, and captured the bad guy. Hmm… looks real. But, wait… the camera shows that this bad guy's face already beaten up, there was blood all over his face.
Whereas as shown on screen, the cops're yelling, "You X? You're the thief right? Hands up!"
Wow…wow…wow… the cops are just asking and the suspect already swollen up? Who did it? Remember, it happens inside a house, and the police are breaking into it.

b. The same thing happens on the capture of a raper suspect. He was still junior high school age. He's inside a house, the police are breaking in, but why the hell there were bruised all over the boy's body?

c. Gun firing scene
The camera is running. Visually shown policemen running and firing their gun on the air. The thief is in front of them. The cameraman obviously behind all of them. I didn't see someone firing at the thief, but he falls anyway. His leg is bleeding hardly. There's a bullet hole on it. When was it fired? Did bullets could go from up in the midair to his leg at it's own will?

2. Interogations on a boy who owns a gun
The opening scene was just like the first one: running to the back of a house.
And there the little kid was, surrounded by FIVE BIG cops. One of them, my guess is the chief (he has a neat clothes, light mustache, and a shiny wet hair combed backward), said in loud and overclear voice:

Police 1: Don't move!
The kid was indeed not moving. He was sitting alright. And surrounded by FIVE BIG cops!
Chief: You brought SENPI, right?
(ATTENTION: He actually said SENPI)
The kid: Yes sir. I am.
(Great isn't it? Even a little kid knows "SENPI". Is it thought in school that he understand the meaning of SENPI, CURAT, CURAS, JIHANDAK, and other Indonesian police style acronims?)
And he COMMITTED it easily
Police 1: Where… where?
The kid took his bag.
Police 2: Where are the bullets?
The kids points out other pocket on his bag.
(Ngerasa aneh? Itu kan logikanya? Ada senjata pasti ada pelurunya, iya nggak sih?)
Police 2: Where did you find it?
The kid: Inside some house nearby
Chief: Which empty house?
(Felt strange again? I don't recall the kid was saying "empty house")

3. Penangkapan dukun cabul
Sebenarnya gak ada masalah. Yang masalah adalah dua atau tiga polisi dengan santainya menabok si tersangka di depan kamera... plak, plok, bug! In front of fucking camera, people! On a TV show! Sekalian aja tambahin efek tulisan kayak di film Batman lawas. Wajah si dukun yang awalnya agak mendingan, jadi nggak karuan.
Dan, sama seperti tayangan film kungfu STPDN, in the end of the story, ada satu polisi berbadan luas menghadiahkan tendangan gledeknya pada si dukun... DHUAR!
Siapa bilang adegan aksi film Indonesia ngawur? Asli man... tanpa stuntman.. Jackie Chan aja kalah!

4. Penggrebekan salon prostitusi
What bother me most is the fact that sang kameramen dengan santainya memfokuskan kamera pada perempuan yang disangka menjadi PSK terselubung. Padahal, narasi jelas menyatakan sepasang manusia yang sedang telanjang. Means: the PSK is naked, shooted by cameraman, dan herannya, beberapa kali si PSK mau pake baju dilarang oleh satu polwan yang juga ada di sana.
Memang gambar si PSK diburemin. Tapi, buat apa kamera mengarah terus ke PSK walau jelas PSK tidak diwawancara? Lalu, kenapa si cowoknya yang juga telanjang tidak mendapat jatah yang sama? Asyik banget jadi kameramen…

Lumayan dongkol juga nonton Sergap-nya RCTI ini. But we just laughed at it!

On Reasons Not To Kill Yourself

SUICIDE
By Bobby Gaylor

Animals don't have a choice.
If they're not happy with their place in the world... too bad.
They have to live the life they've been given.
Humans, on the other hand, don't have to.
We have a choice.
If you don't like your place in the world
you can get off anytime you want.

Suicide. That's right.

You don't like the way your life's going,
you don't like the way you are in the world,
anything around you,
you can check out anytime you like.

Animals aren't allowed that thought
and believe me, if they were, they would use it.
There'd be a lot of dogs and cats, owned by assholes
that live in high-rises, diving out the windows.
Zebras... if they even had remotely that thought
would take a look at themselves and go, "What the F*#K!"
Black & white in a green & brown world... this blows.
I'm just gonna jump in the river.... I don't have a thumb to work a gun or hold a knife or even open a jar of pills. I'm just gonna dive into the next lion's mouth. Why even bother?"

Now, monkeys have the opposable thumb so they could kinda do it the exact same way we do. Now, there's a bunch of people that say, "Oh, it's against the law". Well, it's only against the law if you do a crappy job and get caught. Other people say, "Oh, we should save them". Yeah, well you know what? Not everybody wants to be saved. Not everybody should be saved. And who are we to force our will upon them? I mean, isn't that one of the joys about being a human? Freedom of choice? Now, it's not all bad. Now, I'm not saying "Kill yourself". But if you're gonna be an idiot and do it anyway, it's no sweat off of my back. There's a lot of good that could come from it. A little bit of bad thrown in. Some of the things: A job will open... An apartment will become available... There'll be more air for me... They say there's two girls for every guy - if you're a man, there'll be four chicks for me... There'll be more Ketel One vodka for me... There'll be one less idiot in line at the bank who gets up to the window without their F*#King slips filled out... I won't ever have to go to the store to buy my favorite Salt & Vinegar Chips and have the clerk point at you and say, "They bought the last bag".... You won't help change the McDonald's sign to a Hundred Billion Served... You'll never get AIDS... You won't have to worry about calories ever... No more, "Hey, does this make me look fat?"... There'll be one less polluting human...You won't have to recycle... There'll be one less car on the road... There'll be more Ring Dings for me... Fifty or so chickens' lives will be spared... Your fingers won't ever get red from eating pistachios... You won't be forced to visit your Grandparents on Sundays anymore... No more church... You'll be saying, "Hey, World - Kiss My Ass!"... No more wet dreams about Supermodels... No more Barry Manilow... For a few years anyway... Wondering "Am I a loser?" will be a thing of the past... Say good-bye to crappy Xmas presents from Aunts and Uncles... You won't have to suffer through a Motley Crue reunion... F*#K flossing and brushing... You'll never lose sleep over a pregnancy scare... Adios, Acne... Worrying whether you fit in or not won't be on your brain... See ya later, homework... You'll never have to sit through another movie brought to you by the creators of South Park... Schools out forever.... No more paying bills... You won't have to do chores... You won't be able to run over toads with the lawnmower though... You'll also miss McDonald's French Fries... Bugs Bunny... The amazing electrifying feeling that surges through your body when you kiss someone for the first time...
You won't be able to watch the letterbox director's cut of Jaws... Candy... Living above ground... Pudding crust... You'll miss the rush of getting your first apartment... Getting to the point in your life where you can tell your parents to "F*#K Off! I gotta make my own mistakes....you did"... You'll miss sex - you'll miss thinking about it, looking for it, sex by yourself, sex with a partner, sex with multiple partners... No more summer nights that seem to go on forever... Roller coasters.... Naming your kid the name you always wanted... Making a difference in the world... You'll miss the experience and pleasure of Hallucinogenics... Watching your neighbor's wife change clothes with her blinds open... A lifetime of masturbating... Watching your favorite team sweep the series... Music... You will definitely miss music... Trying to sneak into your house drunk - three hours past your curfew... You'll miss the blaze and glory of the 4th of July fireworks... The taste of Captain Crunch... If you're a boy, you'll miss the feeling the first time you reach up a girl's shirt... If you're a girl, the feeling the first time you reach down a boy's pants... You'll miss your favorite coat... Waffles with whipped cream and strawberries... Beating your friends at video games... You won't be around to see what shape and color the new marshmallow in Lucky Charms will be... You'll miss the feeling you get when reminiscing about your first love - thirty years after the fact... The joy of giving and receiving at Christmas... Skinny dipping... Getting stoned, reading Green Eggs & Ham, and eating like a horse that got loose in the grain bin... Flying cars... Hey, you were born - Finish what was started.


UPDATE
----------

Bobby Gaylor is a comedian. He can do stands-up just like George Carlin and Seinfeld (my two favorites comedians). But he can write songs too. Suicide is one among his songs in Fuzzatonic Scream album that cracks me up in a very nice tunes...
If you want to hear it by yourself, you can download it here. But you must remember, I bought the song! Please RESPECT his work... you know what to do!

On Porn To Be Wild

Last week, I got a call from my friend Lisa at 5 am. The moment I heard her voice, I knew something was wrong, not because her tone broadcast alarm but because she lives in Malang and wouldn't be up that early unless she'd been trown out of her bed by an earthquake.
"I think Doni's gay."
"Whoa, back up. What?" I said.
Lisa paused. "It's too embarrassing to explain."

As I reminded her, I'm pretty much the last person in East Java anyone should worry themselves in front of. "Plus," I said, "You placed the call and lobbed out a pretty big little sentence, so clearly you're ready for a streaming pile of fresh humiliation."

She then went on to stammer that her sexual relationship with her husband had been, " a bit flat lately."
"Define lately," I said.
"Since the last weekend of March 2002," she said, a little too quickly.
Now they have sex maybe once every three weeks because they're both so busy and tired that fucking and passion have been mysteriously replaced by sleeping and flossing.
"So we decided to spice it up," she said.

Immediately, I envisioned Lisa and Doni with an impossibly long-legged ebony hooker easing herself down on white shag carpeting of their mid-century-modern home, Doni poised above her with a pair of his red suspenders --makeshift whip. "Get on all fours so I can bang you like a bitch," he is shouting, while Lisa sits in the black chair, Sharon Stone-style, blowing smoke rings.

"We rented a pornographic video," Lisa said.
And the way she said pornographic instead of porn struck me as painfully innocent and I immediately felt guilty for imagining her watching her husband fuck a whore --excuse me, streetwalker.

"And so we were in bed, you know, doing it. And watching. And then this other guy walked onscreen and got into bed and he sticks his finger up the guy's ass. And all of a sudden Doni starts shouting 'Oh, My God!' and then he comes."
At 5 in the morning I have not yet had my double espresso, and this is far too much pre-caffeine information for me.

"I mean, we'd been watching for like 20 minutes, but as soon as the video turned gay, Doni got so arroused that he came. He's gay, isn't he?"
There was a crescendo of panic in her voice. Time to strap her to the cosmic gurney and administer soothing meds.
"No," I said firmly. "Doni isn't gay because he got excited watching a porn flick. It doesn't work that way. He came because he was fucking you, his wife. And this tends to happen when a man fucks his wife for 20 minutes while watching porn."

After a brief silence, her words came out in a rush. "I feel like an idiot. I think I need to go back to bed. Maybe I'm not even awake yet. I'm sorry I called to say good night. Good night." Click.

This got me thinking. Is porn good for relationship? Can it resuscitate a flatlined sex life? Is it fun? Is it dangerous? Does it lead to couples? hiring ebony hookers?
To answer these questions I spoke to the experts. Two experts, actually. One shrink and one guy who owns a lot of cool CDs.
While my two experts phrased things quite differently, they said the same thing: Porn can add excitement to a relationship, as long as both partners are willing, and as long as both partners feel secure in the relationship to begin with.But this is just common sense. I mean, if a couple never fuck unless they're watching porn, that's a problem.

"If a couple has intimacy issues, porn can be a disservice to the relationship," said the shrink, " it can prevent them from connecting, one-on-one."
As for Lisa's concern that her husband was gay because he blew his load when a man entered the frame: Big deal. Who knows what Doni was looking at? Her tits jiggling, her hair whipping around, his dick ramming her.
Every straight guy gets off once in a while watching some pornbabe get plowed by a stud. Human sexuality is a broad spectrum, not a study in black and white. What might get a person off watching porn may not get them off in real life. Or maybe it would, but that doesn't mean they'll do it.

For the single guy, porn can provide endless and repeated visual fodder of masturbation. But there's that double edge again. "Don't get broadband, dude. It'll be the end of your life," said the CD guy.
True, too much of a good thing is a decidedly ungood thing. Don't turn into pervert who rubs himself raw jerking off all day with video-conference software instead of inviting some woman to dinner.

I started to feel guilty about Lisa again. I'd told her I didn't think her husband was gay because of the porn incident. But I'd neglected to mention that I did think he was gay because only a homo would live with white shag carpeting in a mid-century-modern home.


UPDATE
----------

On further note, after reading this article I strongly not recommend going to this place as a spice up... who knows what happen next...

Gong Xi Fa Cai for those who celebrate Chinese New Year
Mari kita tutup tahun kambing dengan rame-rame berhenti makan rumput dan mulai belajar makan pisang di tahun monyet!

In Gazing The Shoe

Shoegaze: verb. To play an instrument (especially a guitar) with one's head down, as though gazing at one's shoes.

I wonder where this shoegaze name came from? If only Isman did include England on his Cool War post...

sometime in some stage
Band Guy 1: Dude, I've been watching you lately and finally came out with the name for our new music styles: Nosepick!
Band Guy 2: No way, dude. Picking and licking is a common use in our community...
Band Guy 1: Drewlyshirt?
Band Guy 2: Naah... too wet! how 'bout Fingersweat?
Band Guy 1: Eat shit man! Hey... we're on dude. Let's gave this show some kicking ass riffs!
Band Guy 2: But we haven't found a name for it yet...

while playing
Band Guy 2: You never told me you have new shoes...
Band Guy 1: Pretty cool Puma isn't it? It's on discount...
Band Guy 2: (looking at his) But my Nike still shine right?
Band Guy 1: What about his? (looking at their mates shoe)
Band Guy 2: What about his?
Band Guy 1: He has no shoes, man!
Band Guy 3: Yo fella! Stop gazing each other shoes, we're on stage...
Band Guy 1&2: WE FOUND IT!

Notes:
When the term shoegaze first appeared, it referred to a style of music popular in Britain in the early 90s (and also called bliss-rock and dream-pop). But the verb now has a wider currency, as seen here:

"Hum does shoegaze here and there, and some of the songs fidget too long before getting started."
-- Rafer Guzman, "Hum: Downward is Heavenward," New Times Los Angeles, January 29, 1998

Earliest Citation:
"With their blend of hazy swirling guitars, detached vocals and rhythms that alternate between fierce and droning, Drop Nineteens are showing the Brits that they can shoegaze with the best of them."
-- John Yee, "alter ASIANS," The Ethnic News Watch, October 31, 1992

On Behalf Of Tintin (And Milou)

Waaa.... akhirnya, jagoan favoritku difilmkan juga... sama si Steven Spielberg pula! Bisa ditebak filmnya: seru, agak kocak... dan yang jelas menghibur. Kayaknya perlu mempopulerkan gaya rambut Tintin lagi neh....

I remembered the 1st time I read Tintin's comic book. It was on my 7th birthday in 1988. My Balinese aunt just come home from Paris and she gave me "Tintin in America" as a birthday present. The comic was hard covered and well-written in French! Luckily it was a comic book. So, I manage to know the main story anyway.

Aunty: Happy 7th years! Here's a gift for you... a French-written comic book!
Me: Oh, thank you aunty. Now, what i've gotta do is just figure it out with my never-before-reading-french-brain by looking only at the bright colorful pictures.

(after reading, well, looking at several pages)
Aunty: So, is it good? What is it said?
Me: Not so fast, aunty. It's not like when I do calculus and calculating the solar movement on my spare time.... Who do you think I am? A genius?! Geez....

So, I beg her to read it for me. And she did read it for me... in French!

Me: Hmm... oooooohh... mmmm.... is he?.... oh, he is?
Aunty:............................. et fin! Good story isn't it?
Me: Hmm... oooooohh... mmmm.... is he?.... oh, he is?

I soon found out that she was just teasing me when she gave me another "Tintin in America". This time in Indonesian!
It started a point where I devoted myself to this guy's adventure. I had a full collection of them... from "Tintin in Russia" to "Tintin and The Picaros" some of them even on English and French! Journalist became my dream job for the future.... I once had a dog named Milou.. I even had a Tintin's haircut once.... Tintin has become my hero!

Then, what should I do in his 75th birthday?

- Making 10-cent euro coin? Done.
- Making Tintin movies? In progress.
- Completing the collection? It's already completed, moron!

Well, I guess I just have to enjoy the show, and wait for the movie!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINTIN, and MILOU!

on upgrading software

this is funny....

Upgrading software problem : GirlFriend v7.0 to Wife v1.0

Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear TROUBLED USER:

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal.

The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

On Talking In Junglish vs Baca Bahasa Campuran

On the way to the office today, inside angkot, i sat beside this fat lady whose likely had some shopping before. I knew this because she holds (mark this) 6 full-of-goods plastic bags. And because, in loud and clear voice, she said to the other fat lady next to her, "Phew, that was a good shopping or what?"
There's nothing wrong with the fact that one of her bag actually leak and made the floor soaking wet. And the fact that her body consumes 3 1/2 space of any normal man would sit, and makes me feel like a matchstick compare to a watermelon. But there's surely something wrong with the way she talks.

Fat lady 1: Hari ini kita lucky ya. Hampir semua barang yang dijual cheap banget. Besok-besok shopping di situ lagi yuk?
Fat lady 2: Iya. Emang murah-murah. Diskonnya emang gede-gedean.

Observe, she use a lot of word in English between her regular Indonesian with Javanese accent. I mean, why would she do that? To impressed everybody who accidently eardropping their conversation?
Kalo aku sih cuman supaya enak dibaca aja... somehow, buat aku lebih gampang berekspresi dalam bahasa Inggris ketimbang Indonesia. Ada kata-kata yang menurutku lebih simple dan mengena kalo ditulis pake bahasa Inggris... dan emang bakal kedengeran aneh kalo ngomongnya campuran kayak gitu. That's why I prefer to use either one of them in talking to someone. Anyhow, were was I? Oh yes, 'bahasa campuran' or you can called it 'junglish'

Q: What is Junglish?
A: It's stands for Jungle English

Q: When should I used them in conversation?
A: You shouldn't. Only if u want to get embarrassed in front of laughing public.

Q: So what should I do with it?
A: Read it. Than u can have something to laugh about.

Javelish
The typical Javanese language: 'lho', 'lha', 'tho', 'kok', 'ki', etc
- Lho, I already bought that book!
- Kok, buying again?
- I told you many times 'tho'!
- Lha, I didn't know ... how ki!?
- Don't be like that, no....!?

Jakartenglish
Jakarte English is marked by the 'sih', 'deh', 'dong', 'nih', etc
- That book is very good, deh.
- Can you speak english?.. yeah a little sih I can!
- Use my money first nih..
- Give me more dong..
- How sih? Little little angry..

Surobenglish
Suroboyo English is marked by 'tah'
- Do you feel sick, 'tah'?

Other exclamation words of Java : 'wo', 'wah', 'we', 'jian', and 'je'
- 'We' lha this book is mine 'je'...!
- 'Wo', only like that 'tho'!
- Wah, expensive, 'tho'?
- 'Jian', Paijem is so beautiful tenan.

Sundanglish
Sunda English is also available such as 'atuh', 'euy', 'mah'
- Well, if that kind, it pretty so-so atuh
- It can't be that way euy..
- I am mah, not like that... anything else?

There are also abundant 'sound effect' in Javanesse language.
- Suddenly, mak bedhengus den Tukiman appeared
- My head feels pain, mak cleng!
- Mak tlepok, I got a manggo!
- My chicken is suddenly died, mak cekengkeng
- Mak gedebug, Kampret? fell down.

_______________
Inspired by Cholis post on deteksijp.


UPDATE
--------------

I heard a lot of these English words that was pronounced perfectly by Indonesians: VCD and DVD!
Although, the pronouncer often didn't realize it was in English. And I bet a lot more of them have no idea what it's stands for. (It's Video Compact Disc and Digital Versatile Disc, people!)

What is VCD and DVD?

1: Err... video cd and digital video disc?
2: ...... film bajakan dan film mahal!
3: ya... VCD dan DVD
4: piringan penyimpan data (jawaban aman)

In Learning CSS

Just about couple hours ago, i have no idea what the hell is CSS...

me: look, look! i can make a site!
conscience: wh... it's about time u dumb! you're a hundred years late...
me: no way!
conscience: yup, and everybody is using CSS, javascript, PHP, and flash for that!
me: wow, wow, slow down big fella! they sounds like the name of a starship from Star Trek movies.
conscience: you have to learn, grasshopper. learn... learn... LEARN!

(after browsing around with slow-mo computer)

me: hey, hey! i can do CSS!
conscience: wh... it's about time u dumb! you're a hundred years late...
me: ........ don't you have another line?

(several hours later)

me: yipiiieee! forget javascript, i can make flash!
conscience: wh... that was fast! but, didn't humans like u need some sleep?
me: i did. several hours ago...
conscience: i knew it. there's no way a mushroom level brain like yours could do that.
me: err... meaning?
conscience: (sigh) it's only a dream, stupid!

and finally, the version 1.0 is out!

conscience:(applause)
madness: suiiit... suiiit! give me "p", give me "i", give me "p"!
libido: woohoo... it's time for some porn site dude! from semi to hardcore... lesbians in the shower too (imagining) whoa...
jealousy: huh, what so good about it anyway? it's just a fucking site!
ego: you go, pip! i'm proud of u!
hey, brain! what r u doing?
brain: i've been thinking, ego... did mushroom really have a brain?

A Movie Week

Kemarin abis nonton film 30 Hari Mencari Cinta....


Salah satu adegan dalam 30 Hari Mencari Cinta.

*speechless*
......
......
......
.............
..........................
*still speechless*
........................
.............................
*sigh*
Ada yang udah nonton belum??? Here's a good tip for u.................. DON'T!

unless, kamu pengen kecewa seperti halnya kami berenam, cowok-cowok yang hari Kamis kemarin beruntung banget bisa nonton premiere film itu.... dan akhirnya tidak merasa seberuntung itu.... here's why
1. Storyline: bisa ditebak; keliatan dari judulnya gitu lho!
2. Editing: kacau; adegannya lompat-lompat tapi bukan jump cut (anak film pasti ngerti apa yang aku omongin).
3. Directing: lebih kacau; nggak jelas apa yang ditonjolin, iklan dalam film? atau sponsor dalam film? (eh, sama aja ya?, abis iklan banget sih) Satu-satunya hal yang patut diacungi jempol adalah adegan dimana Eross tampil sebagai pelayan..... sumpah cocok banget!
4. Soundtrack: sangat kacau!; Bukan pembenci Sheila on 7 sih, cuman eneg aja ama cowok-cowok Jogja ini (i mean... banyak lagu-lagunya yang dipaksa masuk padahal nggak pas sama adegannya)
5. Casting: Mungkin cuman kategori pilihan pemain yang paling bagus dalam film nggak jelas ini... i'm talking about dropdead gorgeous girls, man!
6. Overall: By the scale 1-10.... i'll choose 4! though film ini cukup menghibur meskipun sedikit maksa....

Anyway... ntar rencananya mau nonton film ini yang katanya keren banget.... emang telat sih... but I'm planning to have a "movie week" this week... for 4 movies in 4 consecutive days (Last Samurai, 30 Hari mencari Cinta, Arisan!, dan The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The Kings)

Aku harus siap-siap nih...


UPDATE
----------

This is a good review on 30 Hari Mencari Cinta. Tapi, penting gak sih?