It's a Localized English

These days we could find a lot of things written in English. From simple sentence in some print ads to the product name itself. But this trend doesn't always followed by the readers, which mostly -we've to admit- had less educational background.

One day my friend and I were having lunch outside the office. As usual, he came up with crucial facts to discuss, like why bra's invented by man? or, is it true that "50.000 Words Complete Dictionary" contained approximately 50.000 words?, what about "900 Millions Words Complete Dictionary", which one is the most complete? and so on.

And that day he just pointed out an interesting subject.
"Let me show you."
He then went to one of the kiosk there and ask for some cigarettes.
"Can I have a pack of L.A Light, please?"
'What, el ei lait? We don't have one... it's sold.'
"But you displayed it on your counter. And there're 8 of them at least."
'Ah... you mean Lalit.'
"How about A-Mild. I see you have those too."
'No, sir. It's called Amil.'
"I suppose you call this a Sprit, right?" Pointing at a bottle of Sprite.

Next time, try to use localized English when dealing with these people.

The Loneliness of Genius

(A Poeter's Lament)

Poetry is hard
Poetry is tough
Other poets who have no particular command of meter or natural cadence so that they never know when they have stuck too many syllables into a given line or just enough

There's No Stopping

(The Cretins From Hopping)

ScreamingYellingShoutingSobbingWhyWhyWhy
HowHowWhenWhenWhenWhenWillMyPersonal
AssistantGetTheStupidSpaceKeyOnMyPCFixed
ThatBitchIsSoFired

Ta Ta Toothy

There's a space in me
That can't be filled
A gap
That can't be patched
A hole
That can't be made whole
But I've got a dentist's appointment for next Friday

People Say My Words Are

People say my words are cliche
But I'll have the last laugh

People say my words are cliche
But what doesn't kill me makes me stronger

People say my words are cliche
But only time will tell

People say my words are cliche
But it takes one to know one

People say my words are cliche
But honesty is the best policy

People say my words are cliche
But two wrongs don't make a right

People say my words are cliche
But you ain't seen nothing yet