...And It's Going To Be Quite A Journey

A lot of things has happened in the past weeks. Things that'll require 379 pages inside a book called "Three Hundreds And Eighty Pages Of Book." To compile one wasn't easy. It took about 888 working hours, 45 cups of coffee, 25,7 MB of harddisk capacity, 66,2 in average per day of mosquito's bites, 8 cans of insecticide, 5 unwearable shrunked underwears, 2 sore eyes and 1 pornographic brain.

And this is page 1.

INTRODUCTION

      Name: Pribadi Prananta
      Age: Unknown
      Sex: Yes, please
      Location: Away from home

"Three Hundreds And Eighty Pages Of Book" enters the shadowy world of expert perverter Pip (Pribadi Prananta), who continues to find himself plagued by splintered nightmares from his former life. The stakes are high for the playboy as he coolly maneuvers through the dangerous waters of international prostitution - replete with Vivid Interactive plots, turncoat vamps and ever-shifting covert whores - all the while hoping to find the truth behind his haunted wet-dream memories and answers to his own fragmented past. Thus, there are no other options left for him but to leave his home town for good.

Is he going to survive in the new neighbourhood full of aliens thinking that he's a predator?
Will he find the answer of Isman's question "Mengapa wanita bugil yang beterbangan di mana-mana dapat memajukan ilmu pengetahuan dengan pesat"?
Is he finally manage to enlarge his underwear without any help from Mak Erot?
How he actually wear them while they were shrunked?
Find out the answers in your local drugstore with the right prescription given by your capster!

      MPAA Rating: PG-17 for violence and intense action, and for brief language.



And this is the end of page 1.


Oops, did I say page 1? I mean page 380. (^_^)'

AFH In 25 Days (part 5)

DAY 14-17 -Les Miserables -

Catching a cold could become a catastrophe. Especially when you want to spend the whole day exploring places where you haven't gone before and meet a lot of people. But the people seemed to be avoiding me. Especially when I sneezed. At first they sympathized, gave some tissues (if they had one) and run away like hell.


"HAAATTTCHHOOOEEEEIII!!!!"
"Bless you!"
"Thanks, SROOOTHH!"
"Here," Taking out the tissue.
"Thanks.. SROOTH.. SREEEUUTHH.. SROOOOOOTHHHSSS!!!!..."
"......" She's gone.


"Beautiful day isn't it?.. HA.. HHAAA.. HAATTTTCCCHHHOOOOEEEEEIII!!!"
"Ye... er, NO!"


"Would you like some candies?"
"Wow, sure.."
"Hea.. hea..re.. hHAA.. HAAATTTCHOOOOOOEEEEE!!!"
"Uhm.. on second thought, I don't like sweets.."


"Excuse me, where can I find thi.. hea.. HAAAATTTCCCHHOOOO!!!"
"Ok, take those road over there and when you find a gas station on your left, go right and straight to the park."
"But I haven't ask anything."
"Yes, but there's no one in that park at this hour. Feel free to sneeze there."


"Waiter, can I get the bill plea.. haa.. HAAATCCHOOOOEEE!!..se.. SROOOTHHH!"
.......
"Hey, this is so expensive!"
"It's for sterilizing those plates, Sir"


DAY 18 - Honey, I Shrunk The Underwears -

I curse these Wash&Go's washing machines! They should put a fixed lettering on their knob instead of those easily-wiped-off-print-because-of-a-regular-use letters. I mean, how do I know which knob is for cold and which one is for hot water? I don't even know the makers of those machines!

And I definitely don't recommend this pampers-like underwear! Unless you happened to be one of those Flashy-philia follower.

What A Natural Thing

Written on a leaflet:

You already change the color of

your hair

your lips

your cheeks

your eyelids

Now you can change the color of your eyes

NATURALLY

Makes you wonder how, wasn't it?

AFH In 25 Days (part 4)

DAY 10 - The Sight -

DAY 11-13 - The Cold -

Even it's only a 2 days visit, but I can't help but trying to leave as fast as I could. Not because I don't like this place. No, it's a heaven! What I hate was I've to spend my time on bed. My only connection to the outside world was the cable TV.

Why would I did that while I should be hanging out and explore the city, you might ask.

Why would I snuggle myself under the blanket and make buddies with the TV remote while I could go out there and peeing the trees to mark my territory, you might wondered.

Why?

Ask Pilexus Maximus. He's the one who changed my name to Heavyx Flus.

AFH In 25 Days (part 3)

DAY 4-9 - The Memories -

Not like the other day, I know this city as well as seeing my own reflection on a pond. A bit blurred, but I know every part of my body still attached to its original position. The hands, the legs, the tails (1).

Even though it has been 12 years, but this place hasn't changed much. It still looked the same as I remembered. The streets, the buildings, the air (2).
"After that corner there's a bank on a left side. And then McDonald's right beside it. About 10 minutes walk, you'll see a park on the left," I uttered myself.

I sit on the park bench beside an old woman spreading what seemed to be breadcrumbs to the pigeons.
"Lovely day isn't it?"
"It is. You're not from around here, aren't you?" asked the lady.
"Yes ma'am. You could tell that from the face or the accent?"
"Your sneakers." Her answer triggered my curiosity.
"My Nike's? But why?"
"No one wear Nike's here."

That was back then about 12 years ago. It's a complitely different situation now. I saw a lot of Asians here. People won't noticed the different.
"You're not from around here, aren't you?" said a stranger who sit beside me.
"How do you know that? I wear Puma's like everybody else here now," I wide-eyed.
"Yes. But there's an airport sticker on your bag that says where you're from."

There's a lot of things I did here with my cousins. It's true that nothing beats days of having fun with your family. The picnic at the zoo. The ride at the amusement park. And foremost, the visit to the countryside where I learned how to milk a cow, brewed coffee/cocoa beans and mix a nice beverage (No, the cows never produce a chocolate milk by itself. Even if you're feeding them with Toblerone. Believe me, I've tried).


Amaretto Fudge Affection

"Start your morning with a flavorful coffee drink. It will affectionately affect your affection. No need to brush your teeth first for a more creamy sensation"


Ingredients:
2 cups hot brewed coffee, or instant coffee
2 tablespoons liquid or powdered amaretto flavor coffee creamer, or fresh milk
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
2 teaspoons baking cocoa
Whipped cream (optional)
Chocolate shavings (optional)

Directions:
Combine coffee, coffe creamer (or fresh milk), sugar and cocoa in pitcher; stir. Pour into 2 large mugs. Top with whipped cream and chocolate shavings. Serve immediately.

Makes 2 servings, or 1 large serving for yourself, you selfish bratt!

_______
(1) It could means:
a. I'm an alligator.
b. I'm a man wearing Barney's costume.
or c. I glimpsed at an alligator habitation pond.

(2) It won't feel the same if you're not breathing.

AFH In 25 Days (part 2)

DAY 2 - The Unexpected -

Since I wanted a little adventure , I decided to buy 2 tickets from two different airlines instead of 1 straight flight to the destination. That makes me the only person in my first flight who left the airport. Good bye Jason! Have fun with Brenda The Rapid Mouth! Hooraay... I'm free....

Unpatiently I searched for my belongings. Here are the things that showed up on the conveiyor belt (in a made up order):

1. Regular brown bag
2. Medium size package
3. Upside down luggage
4. Wheel chair
5. Banana's rind
6. Someone's left shoe
7. Hat
8. My travel bag
9. Damn.. there's a sticky gum on it!
10. Headless kid
11. My backpack
12. ... wait...
13. Headless kid?
14. Oh, there's his head, hidden under my backpack
15. Black box
16. Plane's wing....

My coworkers back home told me, "When you're there, just go straight to the ....(cut)... Hotel. Everything has been arranged for you."

+ May I help you, Sir?
- Yes, a reservation for Mr. Pribadi Prananta.
+ Wait a moment...
- (Aaaahh... a nice warm bath will soothe me up...)
+ I'm sorry, Sir. There hasn't been any reservation for Mr. Pribadi Prananta.
- Are you sure? Would you check it out again? I'm from ...(cut)...
+ A moment... Uhm well, there is your name, Sir...
- (Phew.... that was scary...)
+ .... but, it's for tomorrow......

After a long argue with the manager, I could finally get my room. Had a city view on my porch (yesss!) and a 21" TV with adult cables (double yesss!). Prepared for warm bath, unpacked my stuff, and found a right shoe.

DAY 3 - The Daredevil -

Why do many people afraid of the dark? It's a brainwash, I say. We've been lied since we were a kid. "Don't ever go near dark alone, kiddo. Or you'll ended up seeing ghosts, monsters, undead, zombies, man and woman fucking..."

If those words never came across our mind then why should we afraid of it, right?

It's equal to being alone in a strange big city. "Don't you ever go to the strange city alone, kiddo. Or you'll ended up getting lost..."

What's the connection between those two, you might asked. Well, I don't know! You figure it out yourself. The thing is, I do got lost in this city. I soon regret my act of being sok tahu (1).

I saw a technology exposition ad on a brochure. I decided to check it out. "It's easy. Just follow the direction on map. Read signs. Ask people. And I'm there," I said to myself.
But the problem is:

1. I don't have a map
2. I do need a new pair of glasses (the old one was lost in the plane and I didn't bring my soft lens)
3. I rarely find someone who could speak in English
4. I need some local money

The receptionist told me some ways to go there and back. Noted that on a piece of paper, put it in my backpack, and I'm off. What I didn't realize was a piece of paper could easily shred, especially when it gets wet. And here's a tip: Never EVER put a paper (with a life savior direction written on it) in the same pocket with your cold Pepsi's. You'll curse the dew drops!

The thing was fine on the way there. The show was great. Found a delicious eating spot. Got so tired. Time to go back to hotel. But... (What? Need more clues? Obviously the paper was torn apart, fool. No, I'm talking to myself...)

My limited memory only remembered some street names. As the result, I hit the room at 20.34 while I started all of this at 10.30 in the morning.

_____
(1) Bahasa for smart-pants, wiseacre, and me.

Newly Wed Couples

Congratulations to Leyla and Niang.

Hope you'll find a pleasant journey ahead together as a partner.