In Watching "Reality" Show

One time, in a band camp… no, no, no, it's already been used in movie… think of other starting line… ah, what the heck…

One time, in a band camp, I managed to watch TV. It's not that awesome if I was not 20-or-so kilometers deep inside the forest. Thanks to the magic of technology brought by satelite and the small portable TV. I did suspect that Yudi would slipped it into his bagpack (the TV, that is, not the satelite) when we decided to go camping a week earlier.

So, there we were, two victims of deadly mosquitos, watching TV, while the rest of our group prefered to have a nice sleep. Somehow, they could actually have a nice sleep inside a jungle. Although they would find their skins dotted-red-chicken-pox-like the next morning.

Then, while changing the channels in hope to find a good show, we spotted Sergap in RCTI. Yudi insisted on watching it. "I've never seen this before," he said. I haven't either. And, the show turns out pretty funny for both of us, because:

1. Just like The Blair Witch Project or st.Francisville Experiment, the camera angles signs that the cameraman actually followed the action in live. Pretty convincing… but a much too odd:

a. Capturing the thief scene
There was this cops (and cameraman) running trough a hallway, inside a room, and captured the bad guy. Hmm… looks real. But, wait… the camera shows that this bad guy's face already beaten up, there was blood all over his face.
Whereas as shown on screen, the cops're yelling, "You X? You're the thief right? Hands up!"
Wow…wow…wow… the cops are just asking and the suspect already swollen up? Who did it? Remember, it happens inside a house, and the police are breaking into it.

b. The same thing happens on the capture of a raper suspect. He was still junior high school age. He's inside a house, the police are breaking in, but why the hell there were bruised all over the boy's body?

c. Gun firing scene
The camera is running. Visually shown policemen running and firing their gun on the air. The thief is in front of them. The cameraman obviously behind all of them. I didn't see someone firing at the thief, but he falls anyway. His leg is bleeding hardly. There's a bullet hole on it. When was it fired? Did bullets could go from up in the midair to his leg at it's own will?

2. Interogations on a boy who owns a gun
The opening scene was just like the first one: running to the back of a house.
And there the little kid was, surrounded by FIVE BIG cops. One of them, my guess is the chief (he has a neat clothes, light mustache, and a shiny wet hair combed backward), said in loud and overclear voice:

Police 1: Don't move!
The kid was indeed not moving. He was sitting alright. And surrounded by FIVE BIG cops!
Chief: You brought SENPI, right?
(ATTENTION: He actually said SENPI)
The kid: Yes sir. I am.
(Great isn't it? Even a little kid knows "SENPI". Is it thought in school that he understand the meaning of SENPI, CURAT, CURAS, JIHANDAK, and other Indonesian police style acronims?)
And he COMMITTED it easily
Police 1: Where… where?
The kid took his bag.
Police 2: Where are the bullets?
The kids points out other pocket on his bag.
(Ngerasa aneh? Itu kan logikanya? Ada senjata pasti ada pelurunya, iya nggak sih?)
Police 2: Where did you find it?
The kid: Inside some house nearby
Chief: Which empty house?
(Felt strange again? I don't recall the kid was saying "empty house")

3. Penangkapan dukun cabul
Sebenarnya gak ada masalah. Yang masalah adalah dua atau tiga polisi dengan santainya menabok si tersangka di depan kamera... plak, plok, bug! In front of fucking camera, people! On a TV show! Sekalian aja tambahin efek tulisan kayak di film Batman lawas. Wajah si dukun yang awalnya agak mendingan, jadi nggak karuan.
Dan, sama seperti tayangan film kungfu STPDN, in the end of the story, ada satu polisi berbadan luas menghadiahkan tendangan gledeknya pada si dukun... DHUAR!
Siapa bilang adegan aksi film Indonesia ngawur? Asli man... tanpa stuntman.. Jackie Chan aja kalah!

4. Penggrebekan salon prostitusi
What bother me most is the fact that sang kameramen dengan santainya memfokuskan kamera pada perempuan yang disangka menjadi PSK terselubung. Padahal, narasi jelas menyatakan sepasang manusia yang sedang telanjang. Means: the PSK is naked, shooted by cameraman, dan herannya, beberapa kali si PSK mau pake baju dilarang oleh satu polwan yang juga ada di sana.
Memang gambar si PSK diburemin. Tapi, buat apa kamera mengarah terus ke PSK walau jelas PSK tidak diwawancara? Lalu, kenapa si cowoknya yang juga telanjang tidak mendapat jatah yang sama? Asyik banget jadi kameramen…

Lumayan dongkol juga nonton Sergap-nya RCTI ini. But we just laughed at it!