Back Bag and Pack!

I'm back with a black bag in my back for a pack,
not to crack the rack while I shout a quack!
QUACK!
CRAAAAAACK!
UH..UH.. MY BACK!
...and there goes my rack.

                                    (Pribadi Prananta, 2004)

It's official ladies and not ladies! Starting next monday I'll be running around butt naked in the middle of the night and peeing my territory in my new neighborhood, which is for safety and privacy reason I'm not going to mention this nice neighborhood in Permata Hijau, Jakarta Selatan. Yes, I'm leaving Surabaya and start to make a living in Jakarta.

A venerable best friend once SMSed me, "...sounds like you are going to fight a forestfire with a flame thrower..."⁽¹⁾
"Yes, but it's a dead forest already and I'm just trying to make a new environment. How about cane field?"
"Cane field? I thought you are going to build a mall?"
"Mall? Why mall?"
"Well, you like girls. And mall is a good place to take girls out. Trust me."
"Hmm... you're right. I'll just build a mall with a cane field inside."

Well, lets leave that unecessary convo and back to the fact that packing really could put you into a more chaos scenario, than getting caught while masturbating in the peak of Monas. Okay, that's a bit unheard-of because the new elevator now had an air conditioner so it's better if we masturbate inside.

Packing needs a lot of preparations. You're going to need some material, such as:

Suitcase
For clothes, suits, underwears, personal stuff, handguns, etc.

Wrapping Paper
Plenty of it. Many people, like me, save and use their old newspapers. But keep in mind, however, that the ink on newsprint never thoroughly dries. Consequently, the goods you wrap in newspapers are most likely going to be soiled and will require cleaning after unpacking, and before you put them away. But what the heck, just use them if you please! Especially if you just had a bad day at the office and feel like ripping all newspapers. And notably if you work at a newspaper company.

Cartons
You'll need many boxes in assorted sizes. All boxes should be in good condition, and must have covers on them in order that they can be closed up and sealed. Plus, you could use the cartons as a mattress if you think that buying a real decent mattress is a foolish idea.

Sealing Tape
The best tape for this purpose is plastic tape, because it's made of... euh... plastic.

Marker
This is for marking your packed boxes with such information as the contents of the box, "FRAGILE", "THIS SIDE UP", "DANGEROUS ANIMAL", "DANGER: RADIATION TOXIC CHEMICAL", "NAKED LADIES", etc.

Fresh orange juice
Do I need to explain more?

Plan Your Packing
Imagine you're waking up in the morning at your destination. Write down everything you'll need to get ready to take on the world. Imagine you're walking into the bathroom and reaching for your toothbrush. Write it down. Remember, if you don't pack it, you'll have to buy it. That includes everything from tooth brush to AK-47 Sub-machine gun if its war where you're going.

Four Simple Steps:

1. Make a list, in fact make two, one for each of your two bags⁽²⁾.

2. Lay everything our on your bed ⁽³⁾. Put loose things, especially toiletries, in waterproof containers. If you have a toiletry kit, put it in a large plastic zip bag as an extra precaution. You don't want anything leaking on your clothes ⁽⁴⁾.

3. Pack your shirts in the plastic bags from the laundry. They will slide a bit, but they won't get wrinkled.

4. Don't cram. Your bags should be full enough so your things stay put, but you shouldn't be putting pressure on zippers, locks, etc.

Packing Your Suitcase
Remember, not too full. You want things to stay put so they won't wrinkle. If you're going to be buying things to take home, I recommend packing an empty, unstructured, expandable bag that you can carry with you on the return trip. To fill gaps use crinkled tissue paper or plastic trash bags⁽⁶⁾. They weighs nothing and will keep things in place. And you can use the trash bags for laundry or wet things.

Tips & Techniques

1. Pack in layers. At the bottom lay long things like trousers or dresses. Put the top part in the suitcase and let the ends hang out over one side. Put long things like belts (not ties, they'll wrinkle badly) along the edge of the suitcase.

2. Next layer. Put in folded items that can wrinkle such as pajamas, T-shirts, underwear, sweats, swim suits, etc. On top of that put your toiletry kit and other things in bags.

3. Next layer. Put in your neatly folded shirts (in plastic laundry bags) sweaters, shorts, jackets, etc. Then fold the legs of your trousers or end of your dresses over everything in the case. The contents will help keep them unwrinkled.

4. Finishing touches. Put in shoes and other rigid bulky items along the edge of the case, filling in gaps if there are any.

It's all set. I'm off. Hopefully everything works fine in my new place. Wish me luck guys, coz I'm gonna need one... no... 3.431 luck!⁽⁷⁾

_______________
⁽¹⁾ This part is true. The next conversation is what any honest person with a kind and ingenuous heart would do: Lying.
⁽²⁾ If you brought TWO bags.
⁽³⁾ That's not include your partner.
⁽⁴⁾ Like... you know... leaks!^(5)
(5) Okay, I'll shut up.
⁽⁶⁾ Or newspaper.
⁽⁷⁾ To make a cane field.